My inspiration for Cowboy Coolidge began with brainstorming the different ways someone can hurt another through self-absorption. I looked at various artists who had committed suicide and left a significant other, and the most prominent I found was Mark Rothko. Granted, the circumstances are slightly different. Rothko was diagnosed with a mild aortic aneurysm, and refused doctors orders to change personal habits that might have improved his condition. Because of his deteriorating health and impotence, he felt estranged from his wife and they separated. Two months later he overdosed on anti-depressants and slit his wrists.
The most prominent collection of Mark Rothko's work that comes to mind is the Rothko Chapel in Houston, Texas... Cowboy Country. This was the last collection of paintings he did, and he never saw the chapel in its completion.
The whole idea of art, suicide, and cowboys came together; three things I don't typically associate. Cowboys are known to be rough and tough, so to depict the vulnerability of one was interesting to me. Within all the crimes perpetrated against Helga, the culprits all have a strange sort of vulnerability to their character, and I thought this series would work well in that concept's favor.
This photo series was deceptively one of the hardest to prepare for.
Technically it was one of the most legitimate, too. I needed to find the proper attire for a cowboy which I lack, so I went for help. I was able to scrounge up a $300 rodeo hat, a suede shirt used for rodeos, cowboy boots, two separate shotguns with one dating back to 1894, man jeans, and angora chaps. I was also able to find some excellent locations in Eastern Oregon at various people's ranches where I was allowed to photograph.
All of these factors were difficult to put together, but the hardest technical issue was facial hair for myself. In this particular series, I wanted to have a handlebar mustache, and to purchase one that looks halfway realistic is near impossible. I resorted to buying a wig, clipping individual strands of hair, and gluing them strategically to my face to create the best illusion.
This was a very time consuming process, and in total took about 3 hours. The worst part was removing it, and my peach fuzz upper lip and eyebrows were sparser for it... in the name of art by golly.
Conceptually it was a difficult project to approach as well. The safest yet most legitimate way to feign a suicide was difficult to choose, especially keeping in mind the character traits of Cowboy Coolidge. For one, he is an all American rough and tough cowboy, and firearm suicide is the most common method in the United States. Men, especially white men, are the highest percentage of suicides in the country and the 8th leading cause of death for men with 4 to 1 being the ratio of men to women that successfully commit suicide.
This along with recent suicide cases in the national media and in my own life, it was a hard subject to portray and to receive cooperation with others in order to do it.
Here are a few of the preliminary photos, unaltered. I have decided to use a cropped version of the full bodied pose against the barn(not shown yet), but here are others taken as well.
The one beside the tree is one of my favorites because I was able to find this fence with a porcupine carcass beneath it that was on one end still intact with quills and flesh, then gradually wore away to white bone. I thought as a 'still life', it made for a very interesting comparison to the Cowboy Coolidge's character and concept of being a callus spiky creature that is still very vulnerable to death.
The last photo was an attempt at keeping up spirits, because despite all the the heavy depressing subject matter, a girl doesn't get to wear a getup like this everyday.
